3 Reasons why Superman is, and always will be, better than Batman

: Batman is an asshole with emotional problems
When crimes arise, instead of trying to solve them
He becomes an introverted, vengance-obsessed creep
Running around peoples rooftops interrupting their sleep
and lets not get started on the traffic congestion
caused by that gas-guzzler he drives down the intersection
And he never lets captured convicts in for a ride
He just leaves them tied up in the street for policemen to find
Superman, on the other had, is relatively green
Because he flies everywhere hes completely carbon free
But, I digress, thats not the point in hand
the point is Sup’s got a much friendlier attitude than Batman
He’s happy, helpful, jovial and jolly
and doesnt care that his costume makes him look like a wally
This is a far cry from Batman, who’s all frowns and scowels
Who’s so much of an asshole he upsets even Simon Cowel

2: Point two- Batman is a pedophile
No, I’m not lieing, they’ve got him on trial
Why do you think he goe’s through Robins so fast
Its because they leave when he keeps trying to fuck them up the ass
A normal man wouldent require young boys to wear just spandex
and green pants, with nothing covering their legs
Superman is different, he’s not so deranged
He’s happily married to the lovely Lois Lane
He doesnt go around chasing young boys all night
He averts a world disaster, then has consentual sex with his wife
Thats right, consentual, Supermans never been inclined towards rape
(He never had to be, not with that charming face)
No, no illegitimate sex for Superman, not on his watch
Batman, on the other hand, lost count of the places he’s illegally stuck his cock
That fetid batarang, swimming with venerial disease
But in his defence, The Joker is a notorious tease
And Alfred didnt pack a condom in his bat-armour
But as Robin 37 rightly said ‘That, you twat, is Karma’

3:The final point is a short one, though perhaps the most heartfelt
Superman is an icon of hope and peace, in a time when all is not well
Whereas when all is said and done Batman is just a Ninja with a Belt